There's been a solution to the Occupy New Orleans controversy staring us in the face this whole time, a practical and amicable compromise so obvious that no one has thought of it:
Occupy Armstrong Park! Somebody. Please.
This freshly paved and landscaped commons sits smack dab in the middle of a bustling neighborhood, hard against the French Quarter, in the very center of town.
But, for confoundedly complicated and intractable reasons, Armstrong Park has never established a foothold in the New Orleans psyche, never been widely embraced into the social or recreational fabric of the city.
In other words: It's empty. Abandoned. Unloved.
Occupy NOLA could at least perform one civic function while they're still doing their thing – populate that beautiful but desolate urban oasis.
I can't imagine them facing any resistance there.
Heck, they could be in there for weeks before anyone even noticed!
Of course, I'm joking. But only a little.
Truthfully, why not let the protesters have it? At least they wouldn't re-establish an encampment in Duncan Plaza that obstructs commerce, civic affairs and recreation on a daily – no, hourly – basis right in the middle of the city's government district.
While I support the message and long-term mission of the larger Occupy Wall Street movement, I just as strongly oppose the local movement's self-righteous and rancorous, well – occupation – of green space dedicated to public access, use and enjoyment.
By its monopolization of Duncan Plaza, Occupy NOLA is, in fact, intruding on the rights of the rest of us – our freedom to assemble, to gather, to be left alone.
They are being......greedy.
And greed is not good.
So, pack up your rucksacks and tents, you postmodern, millennial dreamers, drifters and hipsters, and move on over to Armstrong Park – the very location where slaves gathered for a few hours every Sunday in Antebellum times to assume the closest thing they would ever know of liberty and freedom.
There's a heavy symbolism there which I'll leave to the social scientists to discern.
The protesters are certainly no wage slaves; that we know.
But they are bound – to the law. And they gotta leave Duncan Plaza.
And I've got just the place.