Tips for better communication with your sweetheart - FOX 8 WVUE New Orleans News, Weather, Sports

Tips for better communication with your sweetheart

Updated: Dec 24, 2007 02:48 PM EST
© iStockphoto.com/Brian Raisbeck © iStockphoto.com/Brian Raisbeck

By Daisy Whitney

Valentine's Day can also be a good time to bury the hatchet with your sweetie and put any unresolved issues behind you. James Tamm, a mediator and former judge, has applied his workplace tips from his book "Radical Collaboration: Five Essential Skills to Overcome Defensiveness and Build Successful Relationships" to the bedroom. The key, Tamm says, is to focus on collaboration, even when arguing.

Here are his communications tips for lovers.

  • Go first. This is not about who makes the first concession in an argument. It's about who makes the first effort to open up a dialogue. 

  • Pay attention to responses. Everything you and your mate say and do, as well as everything you don't say and do, sends a message.

  • Forgive quickly. Be open and receptive to opportunities to cooperate and move on. 

  • Be firm and flexible. Be firm about getting your needs met, but be flexible when it comes to how you get them met.

  • Always look for mutual gains. If one partner takes action that benefits the other partner, it sends a positive message about the value of a long-term relationship. 

  • Take advantage of complementary interests. If your interests aren't mutual, try to have your interests dovetail. For example, if a regular night out with your friends is nonnegotiable, schedule it on a night when your partner is also busy.

  • Put as much energy into solving his/her problem as you do your own. It sounds like a no-brainer, but it's key to collaborating. Your partner will sense your caring and concern, and that goes a long way.

  • Review your successes. Talk about ways you've found great solutions in the past.
Powered by WorldNow

Fox 8 WVUE-TV
Louisiana Media Company, LLC.
1025 S. Jefferson Davis Parkway
New Orleans, LA 70125

General Number: (504) 486-6161
News Tips: (504) 483-1503
News Room Fax: (504) 483-1543

Can't find something?
Powered by WorldNow
All content © Copyright 2000 - 2014 WorldNow and WVUE. All Rights Reserved.
For more information on this site, please read our Privacy Policy and Terms of Service.
WVUE's Public Inspection File can now be accessed online. To access the online public inspection file click here: https://stations.fcc.gov/station-profile/wvue-dt.